So Many Thoughts...

have been churning in my head. Good thoughts, some not so good thoughts I am sure. I am literally bursting at the seams. As I try and unscramble those thoughts into written form I will share with you a blog that I have found quite inspirational.

Good morning. Hope you enjoy this wonderful song.

What's Not to Like

I heard this song on the radio and was instantly impressed with its message. I came home and found the video on YouTube and now it has become a fave for our family.

What do you think? I love that the message is clean, the music makes you want to get up and dance, and the video makes you think. I wish more teens listened to this kind of music.

Thanksgiving

Happy Thanksgiving! It was a blessing to have our home filled with loved ones.
Pra-Jeda George (great-grandfather), my Mom's Dad joined us for our Thanksgiving feast.



He enjoyed meeting the kids just as much as the kids enjoyed him.

Everyone loves Uncle Jeremy who is always so much fun!

Our turkey took longer to cook then we thought. Maybe it had something to do with my thermometer being old-- even though it registered at only 165 degrees, we finally turned the turkey upside down and carved into it to find that it was fully cooked.

Anastasia's eyes were definitely bigger than her stomach. She enjoyed all the food very much and considering this was her and Paul's first major holiday with us and extended family, they both did great.

Pra-Jeda brought his dog Rubie. Four years ago he used to own all three dogs so it was like a dog reunion. The dogs didn't even bark at each other-- and Pra-Jeda certainly got a kick out of seeing Dolly and Misty again.

I am glad that we got these pictures with him and the kids.

When it was time to eat, he said a Russian prayer followed by John saying a prayer in English.

There was so much good food-- and Alex and Dennis cleared their plates!

When it was time to go everyone wanted to give Pra-Jeda and Rubie lots of hugs and pets.

Happy Thanksgiving again! Yes, I am incredibly thankful for the obvious things like my husband, children, and family, but I will also include that I am thankful for God's Word and for inspiring Tom Davis to write Red Letters- Living a Faith that Bleeds. During the move I was sacrificing my time with God for other things, and I realized once again how much I was missing it.

Delirious Fun on Thanksgiving Eve

If there is something that I have learned over the years of having a big family is that even though they bring great joy and happiness they also bring a kind of craziness that you can only come to love if you spend enough time with them. Throw in grandparents, an uncle, and a great aunt and you will get loads of delirious fun.

For dinner one night I made a whole gallon of chocolate milk. Jonny was thrilled when I actually let him drink the last cup from the jug!

Anastasia along with all the girls curled her hair--- just to stay home. Doesn't she look cute?

Dennis went outside to help build a fort and in the process smashed his finger. Jonny was involved so he says but to this day I can't get a straight story. All I know is that it involved a hammer. Can you say ouch?

Adam tried to distract Dennis from the cold ice that Julia was applying by singing him a lullaby. I gave Dennis some candy. Both did the trick.

Grandma and Rachel had fun arranging the flowers

while my Mom and Caleb unpacked groceries.

Julia thought it the perfect time to sport her "Give Thanks" socks.

Last night I encouraged an "ahooditz machina" drawing contest which was loads of fun. All this with Rock Lobster playing in the background. Dennis had fun cutting up the pictures. What would your cucumber car look like?

My Mom taught the girls how to make homemade caramel.

Yummmmm!

One of our favorite games is Rumikub.

Grandpa went to Home Depot to buy some wood for the kids' fort.

After eating "unforgettable" onion rings that will be unforgettable for all the wrong reasons, we came home to prepare the turkey so that it could slow roast all night. At this point I was feeling a bit tired and deliriously goofy so I sat at the bar and observed the turkey preparations.

Let's just say we all learned about turkey zits as my Mom squeezed the remaining feathers out of the bird.

John put the final touches on the turkey before covering it up to slow roast all night.

Tomorrow we will celebrate Thanksgiving with countless things to give thanks to. One being my 89 year old grandfather joining us for dinner. For Anastasia, Paul, and Alex this will be their first time meeting their great-grandfather.

Sneaking Cookie Dough

Family has arrived! We had tacos for dinner. After, friends came by for a visit. My Mom was baking cookies for Thanksgiving as John kept sneaking the dough. Soon the kids were sneaking the dough too-- my Mom was frustrated that every ball she rolled for baking was eaten before it had the chance to bake. John said he wasn't used to having baked goodies let alone cookie dough sit around. Realizing that her baking efforts were doomed, she put the remaining cookie dough in the freezer to be eaten at a later time.

"Hey Mom, you should be flattered that they loved your cookie dough that much!"

Oh boy-- tomorrow Grandma and Grandpa are bringing doughnuts for breakfast! You can never have too much much sugar!

My Definition of Cute

I look at Dennis and I see such a beautiful, happy boy. Did I mention incredibly cute too?

It is hard to believe that he once was a fragile, quiet, medical needy baby. If you went back and read about our first few days with him, you would be simply amazed by his transformation.

Tonight I cut his hair and he stood still. Such a big boy. Freshly washed, I breathed in his sweet smelling hair and marveled at how healthy and shiny it is. If only his caretakers could see him now.

Dennis is growing up more each day. Even though he is bigger and heavier and thinks he can do anything his older siblings can do, little does he know that he is still

my little baby.

A New Jump Rope Game

It is Thanksgiving break so all the kids are home.

Fun fun fun.

And I am not being sarcastic.

We are having Chili Mac and creamy egg and tuna salad sandwiches for lunch and then Adam will drive me to the grocery store to buy our Thanksgiving turkey. Hopefully I can find a at least a 23 pounder. Are you cooking a turkey? Do you enjoy cooking? How many will you gather with this Thanksgiving? My Mom, John's parents, Aunt Tanya, and Uncle Jeremy will be joining us.

Today Caleb shared the sweetest story with me about Dennis. Both of them happen to be on a chocolate syrup kick. After Dennis watched Caleb make himself some for breakfast, he tugged on Caleb's shirt and asked for some chocolate milk too. Caleb got a cup, poured some milk, and pretended to add chocolate syrup. Hiding the top deep in the cup made Dennis oblivious to the fact that the lid was still on. Caleb then took a spoon and stirred the milk and handed it over to Dennis. Dennis was thrilled and thanked him politely and drank all of his "white" pretend chocolate milk.

Sveta crocheted one very long string which I tied together and taught the kids Chinese jump rope. I would use two chairs as my legs and play for hours. Now that is all they can think of!

Life Can Get Messy

This morning Caleb entertained the boys with a cheap science experiment from the dollar store. For a buck, it surprised even me.

After our morning devotional I announced that tomorrow the kids would sit down and write what they are thankful for so that I could hang them up around the table for Thanksgiving. We did this last year and the year before and I want to continue with the tradition.

Sveta was so excited about this activity that she began hers immediately.

Click on the picture if you want to read what she is thankful for. It is really sweet if you can deciper her spelling.

As soon as Dennis saw that I took Sveta's picture, he wanted one too.

Did you know that this boys absolute favorite thing in the whole wide world besides his Daddy is his set of real keys? He carries them around all day long, talks about them all day long, and pretends to use them all day long (like his Daddy) that literally it has become a darn good consequence to have them taken away when he misbehaves. As soon as he can, he apologizes and asks for his keys back.

Alex is so funny!

Here is Alex and Dennis being super heroes.

Last night I asked the four middle boys if they had brushed their teeth. Paul insisted that he had and when a brother tattled on him, I inspected and found that he had again lied to me. Now that he loves Gameboy and the Wii, I was able to take them away as a consequence and even threw in that he must like the dentist's buzzz-buzzz drills since he doesn't care about brushing his teeth. When I acted out the drilling and pretended to be in pain a light bulb went off. He saw that I was not happy for him lying to me and went off to brush with tears in his eyes.

Fast forward to today-- I again asked the boys if they brushed their teeth and immediately Paul said not yet and went off to brush. I playfully swatted his behind. "Thank you for telling Mama the truth." He smiled.... big.

Despite it looking like Alex is strangling the dog, he is really just loving on Dolly in the sweetest way. And Dolly was eating up all the attention.

This weekend John and the kids laid sod....

in the rain.
And it was messy.

And they ran out before the job was done so some more had to be ordered for early this week.

Rain rain go away. That would be nice.

Tonight's Dinner

If we are thankful for our food then why does our family end up throwing so much away? It really bothers me especially if I think about the millions of people who go without food day and day out. I can't imagine them dealing with the food issues we deal with. Today my kids worked really hard with John outside and I so wanted to thank them by picking up dinner at a fast food restaurant but I just could not justify going out and buying food when we have a refrigerator full of food that needs to be eaten. So we stayed put, and I burnt my finger really bad heating it up, but I'll spare you that story.

The kids were not really excited about dinner and of course that held especially true for William. He sat down to dinner already disappointed that I hadn't picked up burgers. It was no surprise when he was one of the last kids still sitting at the table. This time he had Andrew, Paul, and Jonny pulling the same thing--- "We don't like the soup. It makes us gag." John insisted that they had five minutes left to finish eating or they would have to go to bed. Afterall, it was one tiny bowl of soup that they had to eat. One boy pretended to throw up some of their soup and we insisted that it would probably taste even better now. They realized that their little charade would not work and before we knew it they were putting their empty bowls in the sink. That is everyone except William who just could not stomach dinner. Sadly, John sent him to bed just like he said he would, and William went because the alternative would have been eating something that he could just not bring himself to eat-- no matter what.

And then I remembered a friend who had just told me, "You shouldn't punish the disability."

And a few minutes later we let him back up.

See-- this is something that has been an issue with William since forever. He is obsessed with knowing when we are going to eat, where we are going to eat, what we are going to eat, and how much he needs to or can eat depending on what we are eating. He smells the food, strokes the food, gets excited about the food, or shows incredible dislike for food. Literally, he is wondering about his next meal before he is finished with the one he is eating. Though I try to please him with foods that he likes whenever I can, often I am too late because he no longer cares for that food. Literally the things he will eat has dwindled down to a short grocery list of items.

And it is hard.

And I wonder if he is getting enough to eat. And I wonder how I can balance not being a short order cook with making sure that he is not going without altogether. If he enjoys the food he tends to be pleasant at dinner singing my praises. If he doesn't care for it, he tends to cause a ruckus of some sort. The real balancing act comes with him not teaching his siblings that acting a certain way will get them out of having to eat dinner just because they are not crazy about it.

It drains on me I tell you.

And as I talk about these food issues, I am reminded of others. I wish I could say that food is all we struggle with.

But like my burnt finger, I'll save that story for another day.
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Last night Anna went to bed early with me and enjoyed sleeping there all night. So much that she has spent the last hour brushing my hair and massaging my head. It has been the most wonderful thing. If you were wondering if she asked if she could sleep with me again tonight-- you were right-- she did.
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Can you believe that Caleb finally let me give him a trim? I took off a full inch and a half. :) Now Annalyn is begging for a trim and Dennis needs one too. I know what I will be doing this week.

Remembering

Today marks a year since my Dad passed away. It feels strange to go about our lives knowing that he is gone... forever. Honestly, if I try not and think about it, I can pretend that I just haven't had the time to pick up the phone and call him. But then I remember that it is not that simple... he is not a phone call away. He is gone. And today that reminder is more real.

Dad we will never forget you.

This Has Been a Good Week

John gathered the children grades 1-8 to the table for their first BSF lesson in a long time. Though it just won't work for me to attend right now, it was a blessing to see all the kids working along with their Daddy, my husband. By the time it was time to go, most of the kids had already memorized their verse.

When they got home they were all excited to share what they had learned. While they were at their class I was able to read a chapter from Radical with Caleb and Adam.

Anastasia and Paul did not go this time. John wanted to ask the childrens' leaders what they thought about having them go if they could not really understand the lesson. They encouraged John to bring them next time which was such a blessing to hear. Paul and Anastasia and are excited at the idea of going next week.... and Sveta will probably go too!

Julia had a cell project that was due today. This time she made it completely edible... so did Annalyn whose project is due tomorrow.

Remember this? Well it's Jonny's turn now, poor guy. He has been running a high temperature for the last three days and now he has the mouth sores. How strange that there would be nearly a month of nothing and now this. Still, Jonny is a trooper and manages to get all his school work done.

The kids have been writing to their friends up north when John mistook a sticker for a real stamp. I was leery that the stamp was real, but Anna sent the letter off anyway.

I guess I was right.

Look who got his driver's permit today! Nervous the whole morning, Adam ended up only missing three questions. Congrats! This weekend he has his first driver's training session.

Next week, he will officially begin driving. I can hardly believe that I have a child old enough to drive.

What a Beautiful Story

My sister just sent this to me. Thanks Sis! I just had to share it with you.

Thursday, August 5, 2010

When I got home that night as my wife served dinner, I held her hand and said, I've got something to tell you. She sat down and ate quietly. Again I observed the hurt in her eyes.

Suddenly I didn't know how to open my mouth. But I had to let her know what I was thinking. I want a divorce. I raised the topic calmly.

She didn't seem to be annoyed by my words, instead she asked me softly, why?

I avoided her question. This made her angry. She threw away the chopsticks and shouted at me, you are not a man! That night, we didn't talk to each other. She was weeping. I knew she wanted to find out what had happened to our marriage. But I could hardly give her a satisfactory answer; she had lost my heart to Jane. I didn't love her anymore. I just pitied her!

With a deep sense of guilt, I drafted a divorce agreement which stated that she could own our house, our car, and 30% stake of my company.

She glanced at it and then tore it into pieces. The woman who had spent ten years of her life with me had become a stranger. I felt sorry for her wasted time, resources and energy but I could not take back what I had said for I loved Jane so dearly. Finally she cried loudly in front of me, which was what I had expected to see. To me her cry was actually a kind of release. The idea of divorce which had obsessed me for several weeks seemed to be firmer and clearer now.

The next day, I came back home very late and found her writing something at the table. I didn't have supper but went straight to sleep and fell asleep very fast because I was tired after an eventful day with Jane.

When I woke up, she was still there at the table writing. I just did not care so I turned over and was asleep again.

In the morning she presented her divorce conditions: she didn't want anything from me, but needed a month's notice before the divorce. She requested that in that one month we both struggle to live as normal a life as possible. Her reasons were simple: our son had his exams in a month's time and she didn't want to disrupt him with our broken marriage.

This was agreeable to me. But she had something more, she asked me to recall how I had carried her into out bridal room on our wedding day.

She requested that every day for the month's duration I carry her out of our bedroom to the front door ever morning. I thought she was going crazy. Just to make our last days together bearable I accepted her odd request.

I told Jane about my wife's divorce conditions. . She laughed loudly and thought it was absurd. No matter what tricks she applies, she has to face the divorce, she said scornfully.

My wife and I hadn't had any body contact since my divorce intention was explicitly expressed. So when I carried her out on the first day, we both appeared clumsy. Our son clapped behind us, daddy is holding mommy in his arms. His words brought me a sense of pain. From the bedroom to the sitting room, then to the door, I walked over ten meters with her in my arms. She closed her eyes and said softly; don't tell our son about the divorce. I nodded, feeling somewhat upset. I put her down outside
the door. She went to wait for the bus to work. I drove alone to the office.

On the second day, both of us acted much more easily. She leaned on my chest. I could smell the fragrance of her blouse. I realized that I hadn't looked at this woman carefully for a long time. I realized she was not young any more. There were fine wrinkles on her face, her hair was graying! Our marriage had taken its toll on her. For a minute I wondered what I had done to her.

On the fourth day, when I lifted her up, I felt a sense of intimacy returning. This was the woman who had given ten years of her life to me.

On the fifth and sixth day, I realized that our sense of intimacy was growing again. I didn't tell Jane about this. It became easier to carry her as the month slipped by. Perhaps the everyday workout made me stronger.

She was choosing what to wear one morning. She tried on quite a few dresses but could not find a suitable one. Then she sighed, all my dresses have grown bigger. I suddenly realized that she had grown so thin, that was the reason why I could carry her more easily.

Suddenly it hit me... she had buried so much pain and bitterness in her heart. Subconsciously I reached out and touched her head.

Our son came in at the moment and said, Dad, it's time to carry mom out. To him, seeing his father carrying his mother out had become an essential part of his life. My wife gestured to our son to come closer and hugged him tightly. I turned my face away because I was afraid I might change my mind at this last minute. I then held her in my arms, walking from the bedroom, through the sitting room, to the hallway. Her hand surrounded my neck softly and naturally. I held her body tightly; it was just like our wedding day.

But her much lighter weight made me sad. On the last day, when I held her in my arms I could hardly move a step. Our son had gone to school. I held her tightly and said, I hadn't noticed that our life lacked intimacy.

I drove to office.... jumped out of the car swiftly without locking the door. I was afraid any delay would make me change my mind...I walked upstairs. Jane opened the door and I said to her, Sorry, Jane, I do not want the divorce anymore.

She looked at me, astonished, and then touched my forehead. Do you have a fever? She said. I moved her hand off my head. Sorry, Jane, I said, I won't divorce. My marriage life was boring probably because she and I didn't value the details of our lives, not because we didn't love each other anymore. Now I realize that since I carried her into my home on our wedding day I am supposed to hold her until death do us apart.

Jane seemed to suddenly wake up. She gave me a loud slap and then slammed the door and burst into tears. I walked downstairs and drove away.

At the floral shop on the way, I ordered a bouquet of flowers for my wife. The salesgirl asked me what to write on the card. I smiled and wrote, I'll carry you out every morning until death do us apart.

That evening I arrived home, flowers in my hands, a smile on my face, I run up stairs, only to find my wife in the bed - dead.
My wife had been fighting CANCER for months and I was so busy with Jane to even notice. She knew that she would die soon and she wanted to save me from the whatever negative reaction from our son, in case we push thru with the divorce.-- At least, in the eyes of our son--- I'm a loving husband....

The small details of your lives are what really matter in a relationship. It is not the mansion, the car, property, the money in the bank. These create an environment conducive for happiness but cannot give happiness in themselves. So find time to be your spouse's friend and do those little things for each other that build intimacy. Do have a real happy marriage!

If you don't share this, nothing will happen to you.

If you do, you just might save a marriage.
Many of life's failures are people who did not realize how close they were to success when they gave up.

A CHRIST-CENTERED MARRIAGE IS A MARRIAGE THAT IS SURE TO LAST A LIFETIME.

So then, they are no longer two but one flesh. Therefore what God has joined together, let not man separate. Matthew 19:6

Well maybe not that exciting

Okay, the excitement has worn off... some. Besides, I am tired and ready for bed, and Jonny is sick, and I if I don't get some sleep while I can I will be a grump standing in the DMV line waiting to get Adam's learner's permit tomorrow morning. Out of the blue, Rachel got a letter from Ukraine tonight! A long anticipated letter from a certain boy whom she wrote to a few months ago only to have it returned marked undeliverable. How exciting is that! Though we could not read it, it was obvious that Sasha was very excited to be writing Rachel. And of course this brought up the discussion of Ukraine. Currently a few of us are considering a summer trip out there to spend time with the kidsat the orphanage and of course, Sasha. Awwww, what a wonderful thing that would be.

Though it might not sound exciting to you, this letter has opened a can of worms. So many reminders, thoughts of going back, thoughts of getting in touch with all the people we met at Anastasia and Paul's orphanage and crazy as it sounds-- thoughts of Rachel one day marrying the boy of her dreams, one that I already approve of. :)

I am reading Radical by David Platt right now and more than anything I have been asking for direction. It is inconceivable to most that I think about doing more than I am already doing raising our kids and homeschooling three of them. After all, we can't save the world, let alone I all by myself. And yet I feel a pull, a nudge.... and then this letter comes.

I joked with John-- "Look, he sent us a sign."

P.S. Have you read Radical? It will challenge you. Now what?

Exciting News Around Here

We'll explain later! It involves Ukraine..... of course.

We didn't think it would happen.

Five Chocolate Pies

I can hardly believe it! I got all three kids' lesson plans done for tomorrow. Part of their day includes learning to type. Even little Jonny is learning the proper way to use the keyboard.

I hung up lots of pictures around the house including our big family picture when you first walk in the door.

John and the kids are working hard on the backyard. Trees and top soil are being delivered in the morning.

It has been nice having company all weekend but tomorrow they will all leave. Then in another week, my Mom will be back to help with Thanksgiving preparations. Per Adam's request she is planning on making five chocolate pies when she is here!

This week is parent teacher conferences for William, Paul, and Andrew-- hopefully I can get to know their teachers a little more.